Some of you know that my mom died in 1973 when I was 12, from ovarian cancer. My father passed away in 1998 from colon cancer. My ex-father in law has beaten non-Hodgkin's lymphoma & still battles chronic mylogenic leukemia (CML). I have friends who've battled breast cancer, friends who lost the battle to breast cancer, friends who've beaten prostate cancer, thyroid cancer, on and on and on............
This year, I quit smoking. I've smoked on & off my entire adult life. Still fighting cravings but not smoking. I am exercising, walking and learning to run.
But EVERY day I feel fearful - afraid I will "get it." You know, CANCER. My momma, my daddy. Oh GOD I can't bear it. Every day I wonder..........when is someone gonna tell ME that I have it??
So I come home from work today, and what is on PBS but a show called THE TRUTH ABOUT CANCER. A documentary from the perspective of a wife who lost her husband to a lung cancer caused by asbestos. Not only did the program show this woman's husband at the beginning of his fight, but at the end. Other patients too - receiving blood marrow transplants, chemo, radiation. Oh oh oh...painful to hear, painful to watch. People who never smoked, exercised, ate a healthy diet --- could NOT avoid the big C.
Cancer, cancer, cancer - everywhere, everyone. I just don't know if I would have the courage to fight it....after watching people I love fight and lose.
And I was thinking tonight......as I was walking & jogging ........my children........they have NO clue...... my kids can't even remember to do something that is important to me much less help me if I get sick......I am not married........my parents are dead.............my sisters are busy..............YEP I threw myself a full-blown pity party.
So I am learning to run................from CANCER. I hate you you stupid disease!!! Heading towards 50 has me thinking of so many things......meaningful work, graduate degrees, my son going to college, grandchildren, retirement, travel, and CANCER. Bottom line - you just have to live the best you know how, enjoy as much of life as you can, and pray you don't get cancer. There is no magic diet, no magic exercise program, no magic vitamin --- no way to predict who will/who won't get cancer.
On a HAPPY note though..............participated again in Light the Night, the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's annual fundraiser. Doubled my personal goal & helped my team exceed their goal - very rewarding!
